The Evil Empire, known as the Yankees in this galaxy, is in disarray. In fact it’s nearly completely destroyed. Years of striking fear into the fans of its enemies were ended after the demise of Emperor Steinbrenner and the retirement of his agent of evil, Darth Jeter. Remnants of this once powerful organization remain, however Admiral Rodriguez has been reprimanded and humiliated because of his dealings on the black market, and Darth Jeter has been replaced by one they call Di Di Binks, the Not-So-Gregarious. Total market domination is a thing of the past, especially with the introduction of revenue sharing and luxury taxation among the city-states. The past few years we’ve seen the Rebel Alliance of Small City-States regularly defeat the Empire in crucial battle after battle.
The city-states cheered when the Nation of Red Sox celebrated World victory in 2004 A.D., annihilating the Evil Empire along the way. Yet multiple Red Sox victories led to grumblings among the city-states, scared of a possible New Evil Empire. As the Red Sox Nation looked to claim absolute power among all the disarray, it took some potential missteps, ridding itself of its general, Francisco Francona, and overpaying for a mercenary that happens to be a giant Panda. There are rumblings of a new powerful and expensive organization in the West taking control of the void of evil, however this organization, known as the Dodgers, continues to lose critical battles under The Don.
It seems the galaxy has been relatively uneventful as the Evil Empire wastes away, yet the pot continues to boil. The city-states continue to fight amongst themselves, with new rivalries popping up here and there. However no city-state has taken the big leap to replace the Evil Empire. As mentioned, Red Sox Nation has been the closest, but alas it doesn’t invoke the hatred that the Yankees once did, a long, long time ago.
In a sudden turn of events, there may be an organization emerging as the Heir to the Empire. After years of banishment to the bottom of the city-state food chain, the Royals have brought together a youthful, talented army. The promising band of misfits eventually made it to the biggest conflict of all, the battle to claim the World. Alas, the Royals fell short and retired to their lands over the winter. This spring the Royals have emerged once again, although many have doubted its real thirst for power.
Many of the smaller city-states welcomed the Royals as they obliterated expectations of strength last fall and the early part of this spring, and the organization overall has been seen in a good light. Yet, two weeks ago a major weekend-long skirmish broke out against the non-geographical rival Athletics. It is true that a member of the Athletics is said to have initiated the bad blood, but the Royals retaliation has been called over-the-top. As Sunday came to a close, it was thought that the weekend conflict was nothing but a one-off.
One week later, the Royals went completely to the Dark Side.
It started when a young, arrogant warrior named Lord Ventura decided to pick on a little Ewok named Eaton, a member of the White Sox clan. Words were exchanged and then the battle erupted, with other Royals warriors inserting themselves into the fracas. A newly commissioned Royals soldier, Ensign Volquez, went in for a sucker punch against the long-haired White Sox veteran Sgt. Samardzija, who had earlier had a minor squabble with Lord Cain of the Royals. In the end, a total of seven men from both organizations were suspended from active duty.
It seems that in a short two weeks the Royals have taken over as public enemy number one, spurring fights among geographical and non-geographical rivals. Do they have the potential to sustain this treachery for years to come, especially as they come from one of the smallest city-states in the galaxy? The city-state’s treasury department will be questioned for sure. However Master Yost has directed an army that defends well and runs when it needs to. They have an abundance of warriors who throw striking daggers. The immaturity shown in the Royals the last two conflicts may have exposed an arrogance among its young troopers, however it means the young talent still has many years to develop to its full Dark Side potential.
If there ever was an Heir to the Empire, we may have found it.
Featured Image: Via Sportingnews.com